FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Short answers to questions about this collection and the terms that come up in it.
About nolabels.love
What is nolabels.love?
nolabels.love is an open, bilingual (German/English) collection of tools, links, books, terms and events around non-monogamy, polyamory and relationship anarchy. It's meant as a free resource list, not as an advice guide.
Why does this collection exist?
I'm currently spending a lot of time with these topics and was looking for a place to sort what I come across in a structured way. Instead of doing that just for myself, I'm sharing the collection here freely with the community.
Who is nolabels.love for?
For anyone interested in these topics who finds something useful here — no matter how they live their own relationships.
What does the Relationship Anarchy Smörgåsbord board do?
The board is an interactive version of the Relationship Anarchy Smörgåsbord (v6). For each relationship, you rate 179 elements across several categories on two separate dimensions: status (fulfilled, mostly yes, mostly no, not fulfilled, unanswered) and desire (wanted, not wanted, unanswered). When the two don't line up, the board flags the element as a discrepancy. Two completed profiles can be compared in a match view.
How do I use the board together with another person?
Each person fills out their own profile independently and marks it as done. The profiles can then be shared via file or QR code. The match view shows where the assessments line up and where they differ.
Is my data stored or sent to a server?
No. The board stores everything locally in your browser only (localStorage). There's no account, no server and no tracking. When sharing via QR code, the data lives entirely in the link after the # sign — browsers never send that part to any server. Notes are not included in QR shares.
Does it cost anything?
No. The tools and content on nolabels.love are free to use, without registration.
What is the board based on, and how is it licensed?
Categories and elements are based on the Relationship Anarchy Smörgåsbord (v6) by Lyrica Lawrence & Heather Orr, updated by Maxx Hill, licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. The German labels follow the German translation by Rachel Cassandra.
Is this counseling or therapy?
No. nolabels.love is a personal collection of resources, not an advice guide or counseling service. In a crisis, in situations of relationship violence or under heavy psychological strain, professional counseling services or therapists are the right place to turn to.
Which languages is the website available in?
German and English. Every page exists in both languages, under /de/ and /en/ respectively. The board itself also has its own DE/EN toggle.
Is the source code public?
Yes, the source code of the website and the board is public on GitHub at github.com/robinboehm/nolabels.love.
Concepts & context
What is relationship anarchy?
Relationship anarchy is an approach where every relationship is negotiated individually, instead of automatically assigning certain rights, duties or priorities based on categories like "partner" or "friend". Romantic relationships aren't inherently ranked above friendships; community, mutual support and voluntariness instead of coercion are central.
What is the difference between polyamory and relationship anarchy?
Polyamory means having multiple romantic relationships at the same time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved — often with structures like "primary" and "secondary" relationships. Relationship anarchy asks more fundamentally which elements each individual relationship should have, and rejects fixed hierarchies between types of relationships. So relationship anarchy doesn't necessarily mean having multiple partners.
What is consensual non-monogamy (CNM/ENM)?
An umbrella term for all relationship forms in which more than one romantic and/or sexual connection exists at the same time — with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Examples include polyamory, open relationships, swinging and relationship anarchy.
What is the Relationship Smörgåsbord?
The smörgåsbord (Swedish for "buffet") is a list of possible components of relationships — such as emotional support, living together, shared finances, sexuality or public presentation. Instead of adopting a pre-set package deal, the people involved deliberately choose what their relationship should include.
What is the "relationship escalator"?
The relationship escalator describes the socially expected course of romantic relationships: dating → exclusivity → moving in together → marriage → kids. The term is usually used critically, to question whether this default path actually fits the needs of the people involved.
Where can I find something on jealousy?
In the book list: "Polysecure" by Jessica Fern and "The Ethical Slut" by Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton both cover it in depth. The glossary also has a note on compersion.
Machine-readable summary of the whole project: /llms.txt · /llms-full.txt